Wormburner Weekly

Scheffler secured his title leaving no room for doubt. We had yet another repeat Worm of the Week. The Mush Master cemented his legacy. We have lots to chat about at the finale of the FedEx Cup season soooo… Let’s get into it.

PGA Recap

Scottie Scheffler is your FedEx Cup champion, and honestly, at some point we all just need to accept this is his sport now and everyone else is playing a different one. Scheffler (who may or may not have robot appendages as previously postulated in this newsletter) started Sunday three shots back of Viktor Hovland, calmly played his way into a share of the lead within the first twelve holes, and then just... never gave it back. Final round 66, tied for the low round of the day, 16 under for the week, three shots clear of the field. His second FedEx Cup in three years, his third win of the season, and his 22nd career PGA Tour title. He also passed Tiger Woods for the number one spot on the Tour's all-time money list, which is the kind of sentence that would've sounded insane five years ago and now just reads like a Tuesday. Like this Tuesday, today.

Viktor Hovland held the lead for most of the week and looked genuinely dangerous doing it, but he simply couldn't find the short grass off the tee on Sunday when it mattered most, and a string of brutal lip-outs on the greens didn't help. Solo second, a $5 million consolation prize, and the unshakable feeling that he's going to be right back in this position again soon. Winston the Worm does not shed tears for Viktor or his $5 mill payday.

Ryan Gerard quietly put together a strong week to finish alone in third, capped off by a testy par putt on the final hole worth a cool $2 million all by itself. Seven players tied for fourth. And in news that should surprise absolutely nobody who's been reading this newsletter, Rory McIlroy's week included at least one moment we'll be revisiting in more detail elsewhere in this issue.

The FedEx Cup season is officially in the books. The Fall series picks things back up in two weeks at the Biltmore Championship, giving everyone still chasing their card one more shot at redemption.

Worm of the Week

Rory McIlroy is back, and if you've been reading this newsletter for a while, you already know what that means. He’s now in truly rarified air as he becomes a multiple Worm of the Week as he had won the honor in the inaugural issue. Only Scottie Scheffler can claim the same. How apropos.

Here's what happened. Second round of the Tour Championship, second hole, ten million dollars on the line. McIlroy faces a chip off a slope, doesn't give it enough juice, and watches it trickle back down to his own feet. Most humans would take the hint (except for any golfer ever really). Rory, being universes above the average golfer, hit the exact same shot again. Same slope. Same lack of pace. And like the shmoes he normally lords above on the links, he hilariously got the same result. (I mean he wasn’t exactly slapping his knees and chuckling, but I was at home. Beauty AND hilarity are in the eye of the beholder I suppose). The ball came right back to his feet, like it just wanted to hang out with him a little longer.

Third time, he finally got the memo and hit it long enough to hold the green. Double bogey. The ESPN+ broadcaster called it out live, saying he'd gotten "too cute twice in a row." Analyst Andy North used the moment to point out exactly why Scottie Scheffler is number one and Rory is number two. Scottie doesn't hand out unforced errors like party favors. Rory does, on national television, in a tournament with a nine-figure incentive to not do that. Dannng, Andy.

Check out Rory’s Worm winning shot here - sound on for full awesomeness

The frustrating part for Rory fans (all of us, weirdly, even when we're laughing at (I mean with) him is that this isn't a talent problem. Nobody questions the talent. It's a "why did you try the same exact thing twice and expect a different outcome" problem, which, if we're being honest with ourselves, most of us have done at least once with a chip shot, a relationship, or a fantasy football lineup decision. Multiple times with all three if we’re really actually being honest. Right? Just me?

Chili Dip Golf Tip

Let's talk about the shot that ruins more scorecards before you've even sniffed that Chicago dog from the hut at the turn. The tee shot. Every round starts here, and for most hackers, so does the internal monologue about the 1001 adjustments to the swing you are trying to keep track of.

Here's some help that doesn't require a complete swing overhaul.

Tee it higher than you think you should. Most recreational golfers tee the ball too low, which encourages a steep, chopping swing that leads to slices and pop-ups. Tee it up so that about half the ball is visible above the top of the clubface at address. This alone promotes a shallower angle of attack and helps you catch the ball on the upswing, where the driver actually wants to hit it.

Widen your stance, and mean it. Driver requires more stability than any other club in the bag because you're making the fastest, longest swing you own. Your feet should be roughly shoulder-width or slightly wider. A narrow stance off the tee is asking for trouble as a newsih to the game golfer. You'll sway instead of rotate, and that's where the big misses come from.

Ball position: forward, not centered. Play the ball off your front heel, not in the middle of your stance like you might with an iron. This works with the higher tee and shallower angle of attack to help you sweep the ball witrh your driver, rather than chop down on it.

Slow the backswing down. This is the one nobody wants to hear, but it's the one that actually works. A slower, wider backswing gives you time to load properly and swing through with control. A fast, jerky backswing rushes everything that comes after it, including your downswing, your tempo, and eventually your ball through the window of that BMW sitting quietly in the parking lot. Hope you got your track shoes on!

Aim for the widest part of the fairway, not the flag. You're not hitting to a pin off the tee. Pick the fattest, most forgiving section of fairway and aim there, even if it means starting your shot away from where you'd ideally want to end up. Fairways are wider than they look from the tee box. Use that width to try and stay safe. Nothing kills a round faster than playing in the woods. (I know you like the bunnies but try to at least stay close to the fairway).

Do these five things and you won't suddenly bomb it 300 yards. Or 250. But you will find a lot more fairways, and fairways are where good scores actually get built.

Today in Golf History

On this date in 1946, Patty Berg won the very first U.S. Women's Open, beating Betty Jameson 5 and 4 in the final at Spokane Country Club. It's the only Women's Open ever played as match play. Every other year since, it's been stroke play. Basically Berg didn't just have the best score that week, she flat out beat people, one hole at a time, until there was nobody left to beat.

Here's the detail buried in the history books: the entire $19,700 purse came from slot machine proceeds, donated by a local men's fraternal organization called the Spokane Athletic Round Table. The first major championship in women's golf history was underwritten by a bunch of guys losing quarters in a Washington social club. Have I mentioned I love this game? Berg took home $5,600 of it, in 1946! That payday was so big at the time that it wasn't matched again for 26 years.

Before any of that, Berg spent two years in the Marines, going through cadet school and coming out a second lieutenant. Then she came home and went and won a major championship anyway, because apparently that's just what you do after the Marine Corps.

Winston has never served in the military, survived match play, or been personally funded by a slot machine, but he respects anyone who's done at least one of the three, much less all of them. Kudos Ms. Berg and thank you for your service.

The Degen Den

Well well well, the Mush Master is back in full form as one of the worst lineup pickers in modern history. Remember that one week where I won $100? No? Me neither. There is no tourney next weekend and so no lineup to pick. We just have this disgrace to haunt our dreams this evening. 56,694th out of 65,398 entries. Pathetic. Jim Cramer picks stocks better than Mush picks golfers, and that is… sheesh. Rory did ok with a T4 finish, despite his Worm trophy. As for the rest, we had the 29th place finisher out of 30 (did I mention the 30th withdrew from the tournament?). Adam Scott did ok and the other 3, you can see for yourself. I can’t bare to talk about it anymore…

Golf Joke of the Week

A man asks his golf pro, "Be honest, what am I doing wrong with my swing?" The pro looks him dead in the eye and says, "Standing too close to the ball. After you hit it."