Wormburner Weekly

This author’s favorite golf moment before one of golf’s most tragic losses. Dial in that darnedest of distances (my mother reads the intro, gotta keep the language clean). A new spin on the Degen Den I think you’ll love. Let’s get into it.

PGA Recap

The PGA is back after a brief hiatus, with the Butterfield Bermuda Championship at Port Royal Golf Course in Southampton, Bermuda. These guys got it rough, no?

Austin Smotherman won the tournament in a Monday sudden-death playoff over Seamus Power, after wind cancelled Sunday’s final round and cut the event to 54 holes (see more below). They finished regulation tied at 16 under (197), then went back to the par-3 16th on Monday at Port Royal. Both made par on the first two extra holes. Power missed a 20-foot birdie putt that would have ended it on the second one. On the third, with the pin moved forward, Smotherman hit the green and had about 14 feet for birdie. Power’s approach finished in thick rough, he couldn’t save par, and Smotherman two-putted to win.

It’s Smotherman’s second win in three weeks, after the Bank of Utah Championship (the one Ghim couldn’t catch in Issue #13). He took home $1.08 million, 500 FedExCup points, a spot in the 2027 U.S. Open at Pebble Beach, and entry to the first two $20 million Signature Events next season. He’s the first winner of a weather-shortened 54-hole event since Wyndham Clark at the 2024 AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am. Taylor Moore, Corey Conners and Ben Silverman tied for third at 14 under.

Worm of the Week

This week’s worm goes to none other than that fickle bitch (Mom doesn’t read this section, she skips to the joke, sketchy language is free speech here), Mother Nature herself. She reigns undefeated in the golf world and I have been waiting to land this Worm trophy on her mantle for 16 issues for all those rain soaked rounds (fried a hearing aid last year) and wind driven errant drives, one of which went through the passenger window of a Porsche in the parking lot (it’s always the wind boys and girls, but she don’t pay the repair bill).

And so this week’s Worm doesn’t wear spikes. It’s the wind at Port Royal that took home the honors, which showed up Sunday morning gusting past 40 mph and told 72 professional golfers to go home for the day. Not one of them got to hit a shot in the final round, unless you count the two tied for the lead who played sudden death on Monday morn. It’s the first time since the 2024 AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am that the Tour has cut an event to 54 holes.

Wind has been ruining golfers’ weekends for a very long time. Here’s a short list of its greatest hits:

The lesson here is that wind doesn’t care about your handicap, your ranking, your convertible in the lot, or your Grand Slam. It just blows.

So the Worm Trophy goes to the wind, which turned a Sunday into a Monday playoff and handed Austin Smotherman a win the old-fashioned way: by waiting out the weather. Winston says the wind can keep the trophy. It’s the only one that’s ever held it down. Unless you count Rory.

Chili Dip Golf Tip

You’re 55 yards out. A full swing will fly the green, a little chip won’t reach it, and you’re standing there swinging a sand wedge like you’re trying to shoo a fly. Congratulations, you’ve found the most hated distance in golf. Here’s how to make it a distance you look forward to swingin’ from.

Pick one wedge and stick with it. Choose a go-to club for this range (a 52° or 56° works for most of us bums, whatever works) and use it every time. Changing clubs on every shot just gives you more things to mess up.

Learn three swing lengths. Instead of guessing, practice backswings where your lead arm reaches hip-high, belt-high, and chest-high. Hit a couple dozen balls with each at the range and note how far they carry. Now you have a yardage menu instead of a vague “kinda soft.” If you feel the need, try choking down on the club for a variation. Get a stroke down that gives you consistent distance and don’t alter it when you get to the course. Remember your practice and employ it.

Set up simple. Narrow stance, ball in the middle, a little more weight on your front foot. This promotes clean contact, and fewer chunks. Weight on that front foot is key. Not too heavy, go for 60/40 on the front.

Keep the tempo, and don’t slow down. The most common mistake is to shorten the swing and then decelerate into the ball. That’s how you get a fat shot that goes 15 yards or a skull that goes into the next county. A short swing should still accelerate through the ball.

Pick a landing spot, not a target. Decide where the ball lands, then let it roll. Ask yourself, “Where do I want this to land?” not “How do I hit it close?”

The bottom line: Make this distance boring. Pick a club, learn three lengths, and stay smooth. Your wedge game will thank you, and your buddies will lose a few bucks on the closest-to-the-pin side bet.

Today in Golf History

This one will mark a shift in the normal tone of this newsletter, but it’s a story that strikes me as one to be shared, so grab a box of tissue and read on, if you have the courage.

Two days ago marked the anniversary of the day golf lost Payne Stewart. On October 25, 1999, the 42-year-old died in a plane crash, just four months after winning his second U.S. Open at Pinehurst No. 2.

You probably can recall the man even if you never saw him play. Plus-fours (knickers, for the uninitiated, they extend 4 inches below the knee), a flat cap, and a swing as smooth as a cold drink on a hot day. He sank a putt of about 15 feet on the last green at Pinehurst to win that Open, and it was one of the most memorable golf moments and redemption arcs ever to play out on a golf course. I remember watching it live and I still get choked up watching the replay and recalling what led to that moment. Do yourself a favor and watch it here with the volume on, it just might be the best 20 seconds you have today (Other than reading the remainder of this newsletter, of course). Click here for the backstory of that win for Mr. Stewart in the latest blog post, it’s worth the 6 minutes to read it, I promise you.

The next week, the Tour Championship was held in Houston, and the players did the quiet things that mattered. A bagpiper played on the first tee. Stewart’s spot in the field was left empty. Many players wore black ribbons, and several wore knickers in his honor, including Stuart Appleby, who wore an outfit borrowed from Stewart’s own closet with the family’s permission.

Davis Love III summed it up like this: “You shouldn’t be out there playing golf with tears in your eyes.”

So the next time you hit a bad shot, remember how lucky we are to be out there. And if you own a pair of knickers, throw ‘em on for a round and tip your cap to Payne.

The Degen Den

Gather round, degenerates. Tonight’s tale of wagering woe comes from the dark depths of the golf world, and it stars a man who made my entire DraftKings career resemble a toddler’s piggy bank.

His name was Alvin “Titanic” Thompson. He was a gambler, a hustler, and by every account one hell of a golfer, and he’d bet on pretty much anything that moved, plus a few things that didn’t. Play rounds with a single club? Sure. Garden tools? Why not. A pool cue? Pull up a chair. Legend has it he’d take almost any proposition you threw at him.

Here’s my favorite. Titanic bet an unsuspecting schlep that he could drive a golf ball 500 yards. Five hundred. With a driver. Today’s Tour pros don’t hit it that far on their best day, with a hot wind and a good lunch. The mark said “you’re on” so fast it left skid marks.

So Titanic walked him out to a frozen lake (some stories say the Great Lake Michigan), teed up a ball, and smashed it across the ice. It slid, and slid, and slid. Five hundred yards later, the ball was done, and so was the sucker’s wallet. As one retelling put it, “He never said he would do it on a golf course.”

I have placed bets on several (hundred) things in my life, and I have never once read the fine print. This is why Titanic Thompson is a legend and why I should never be allowed near a prop bet again. (A version of this stunt reportedly inspired a scene in the movie Tin Cup).

Lesson of the day: Before you take a side bet with your buddies, get the fine details down. Does “longest drive” say anything about a cart path or this particular fairway? The sharp guy in your foursome is already thinking about it.

Until next time, may your lineups cash and your fine print be clear.

Golf Joke of the Week

After church one Sunday, a parishioner walked up to his priest and asked, “Father, is it a sin to play golf on Sundays?”

The priest put his hand on the man’s shoulder and replied, “My son, I’ve seen you play. It’s a sin any day.”

Once again, my friends, thank you for reading! If you want to further explore Mr. Stewart’s U.S. Open victory in 1999 in all its glory and missed the link above, check out the latest blog post here.